忙しくて、楽しくて、祈りを出す。part three

Blessings come in more forms than I can count on my two little hands. 

Saturday finally came around, and I was exceedingly excited to finally get to go to a rock concert. I've been restless in the city for a while now, and getting my grunge on with a Japanese band like BORIS sounded like the perfect remedy. I haven't known Boris for a very long time. In fact, I stayed up until three in the morning researching their music one Saturday, and bought the tickets to see them at the Regency Ballroom here in San Francisco the next day. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not much of an impulse buyer, but this impulsive buy was definitely worth it.

The Regency Ballroom is on Van Ness, one of my favorite streets in the city with some of my favorite sights like City Hall, and the Symphony Hall, to name a few. Once I'd hopped on the bus to get from one side of Van Ness to the next, peeking out the smudgy windows, I felt transported, as I always do on Van Ness, to a world of gold and beauty. A place beyond the United States, that always seems to fill my heart with a sense of wonder.

Once I hopped off the bus into the sparse line of maybe four or five people, I waited in the cold night as the sun began to set, for the doors to open. Once inside, I was filled with a familiar feeling, one I haven't had in a while, that I would always get when I was a teenager, going to rock concerts with my best friend. The feeling, I believe, truly came from the atmosphere of the hall. The lights of the Regency Ballroom were elegant and dim chandeliers, and a vast stage covered in amps and microphones greeted me, carried me across the smooth wood floor to the pit.

I set my bag down, and like the many others who were there, began to wait for the first act to begin. Opening for Boris were Master Musicians of Bukakke, and Tera Melos.

Master Musicians of Bukkake had set the stage first, and it was decked out in ethnic cloths and tapestries that took us to a far away country sitting between Indian land and Arabia. Master Musicians has been called a band that plays Black Metal, Acoustic, or Psychadelic, and while I got those vibes certainly, there was also a very cultural aspect to their music. In low light, they entered shaking bells, their faces covered in turbans and scarves, the vocalist wore a mask that reminded me of a Chinese dragon. He turned to each member as they began the beginning to play thier song "Schism Prism", bowing with his hands placed together in a prayer-like position. He cued up his synthesizer and the audience was swept off our feet to a place we'd certainly never been in our lives. I was highly impressed with the guitarist of the band, who played excellently and as though it were the easiest thing in the world for him to do. He inspires me, truly, as a musician. Their leaving was adorned with dynamic bows and hands in prayer positions, and of course, bells as they left the stage.

Tera Melos was next, and while Master Musicians may not have been a group I'd usually listen to, I was certainly warmed up with the rest of the crowd. The group consists of three young guys, and they've been said to play electro ambient experimental math rock. I was quite impressed with their work, and definitely think they have made me into a fan with their music. Their sound has character, and each song they play didn't seem forced, but rather, carefully looked over and they put their very hearts and souls into each performance. I was very happy to see a band like Tera Melos on the rise, and hope that they continue on the path that's set for them. I particularly enjoyed the performance of their song "Aped", as it had nostalgic vocals for me (reminded me a bit of modest mouse), but a completely different and restructured song structure. I couldn't possibly write well enough to do justice to their work. They are definitely thinkers - and they've shown thinkers can make music that's great.

Then finally it was time for Boris. 

Set List - Listen to the songs they played at the show!  It'll be almost like you were there.

The lights went down and the theme from their new album titled New Album trickled through the speakers as they prepared their guitars and amplifiers to kill us all. The crowd started cheering and shouting, a big smile graced my face as Takeshi began playing the first few chords of "Riot Sugar" a fun, fun, heavy, heavy song that can make anyone swing their heads to the rhythm. I was extremely excited to be seeing a band I'd just started listening to, playing a song I enjoyed so much by myself in my room or walking down the street, now amplified ten times louder and in person, larger than life.

Our beaming faces as "8" resumes
Photo taken by Tomo Saito

Wata's guitar solo strung off into the next song, and things quieted down for a short moment as Takeshi prepared to play the beginning of the next song, a personal favorite of mine, titled "8". The song started off slow, and sporadic screams and shouts echoed throughout the hall as Takeshi took his time playing the first few measures. The measures of this song grip at your heart, simple as they are, and then pick up speed for the drummer, Atsuo, to jump in. However, we ran into a short technical difficulty, and Takeshi timidly said, while fixing his guitar, "Hello San Francsisco. Thanks for coming."  We were hyped.
Atsuo picked up the next part of the song and Boris charged out with the most beautiful, simple progression, gorgeous vocals saying literal sweet nothings, drums on fire, and guitars creating walls of sound, as Boris is known to do. We danced around, like we were all children again, shaking the sorrow off our heads for happiness, lost in Takeshi's voice and the  Wata's guitar that sounded beautiful like a waterfall. We danced and laughed, shouted and threw our hands up together. The chorus particularly steals my heart even to this day, Takeshi spins his vocal chords into a falsetto that sounds so endearing and filled with heart.

"8" left us too quickly, and I still miss the moment of being lost in that song. But Wata turned to the audience with the beginning riff of the most familiar number of the night, "Statement", which conjured up the loudest shouts from the crowd. "Statement" is the first song most people will find when searching Boris' music online, and was also the song on the Regency Ballroom's website, so for many, it was first exposure. Wata, who is a teeny tiny little woman, shreds like a crazy person in this song, definitely giving female musicians someone to look up to. She does it without an expression on her face, and with hardly a move to her left or right, like she's decided,  on a straight and narrow path of determination to make perfectly every note. "Statement" is a very fun work with a break down that reminds me of a gospel song I'd heard probably many years ago, with a gliding guitar and sparky vocals from Takeshi, Atsuo, and Wata. The crowd shook their heads and shouted in awe of the musical mastery Boris presented. There was a much more cohesive feeling among the crowd as we all danced and sang to the song we all knew well.

As "Statement" closed out, we were given a break as "Attention Please" from Boris' new album likely titled, began to stream through the speakers. Wata's breathy and shy voice drew us to a quiet foot tapping, as we listened to her careful Japanese.

I got so excited to hear "Flare" live
Photo taken by Tomo Saito

"Attention Please" was followed by another new number called "Party Boy", in which Wata showed us her soulful side, singing out the lyrics and playing her guitar, backed up by the beat of the drums and the smooth yet gritty bass guitar. We swung side to side with her, listening to the sinful progression of chords and harmonies. "Party Boy" is a fun work, not very heavy, and actually quite mellow to most Boris fans (as I've heard), but it has something simple and fun about it that makes a girl such as myself want to just hop around and swing my hair. So of course, I enjoyed, and did just as I wanted.

The dancing was soon finished, and opening synth for "Flare", another song off their new album "Attention Please" came zooming through. As someone who had had many a chance to listen to the new albums by Boris, I got extremely excited for "Flare". Atsuo beat the drums quickly, and the guitars all played disonant chords together as Takeshi stepped up to the microphone and belted out the chorus of the song. Everyone jumped up and down together in unison, we could have started an earthquake I think. "Flare" is a number with predictability, which the crowd could get into, but still has it's zest and spark that kept us excited for each beat and each chord. There is a sense of hopefulness in this song, in the chord progressions, in Takeshi's voice, in Wata's guitar solo. "Flare" is well pieced and put together, creating a cohesive, and yet very vibrant work that had us all spinning in circles and shaking our heads, throwing our hands up and shouting with excitement. The final minute of the song got heavier and we all shook our heads together, getting into the music with all our hearts. The final four notes Takeshi played on his double-neck guitar escaped into the sky and we were met by the opening kick of "Spoon", another beautiful number headed up by Wata on vocals.

"Spoon" is sweet and endearing, but does not disappoint those of us who wanted to rock out still. This is an element of rock that I really appreciate and that always grabs my attention. While Wata serenaded us like a mother sings lullabyes to her baby daughter, the other members of the band rocked out with their entire soul, presenting something beautiful to us, a contrast many artists are afraid to take, with twinkling bells and disonant, crunching guitars together. Boris mastered the idea of ambience and hard rock in this song perfectly, whisking the crowd away to a place that was safe and filled with joy, passion, and wonder.

As Takeshi wrung out "Missing Pieces" our hearts were filled
with careful consideration of his feelings
 and emotions, his beautiful soul, like our own beautiful souls.
Photo taken by Tomo Saito

Our faces all lost in lights,  Takeshi slowed us down to listen carefully with our hearts to the 12 minute and 23 second performance of "Missing Pieces". In Japan, during numbers such as these, the audience stands still and in silence, carefully waiting to capture the heart of the artist. I stood there, I waited, and I was surely careful. The sorrow expressed in "Missing Pieces" drew my heart to lift up a quick prayer for Takeshi, for Boris, for Japan, for each heart, that Jesus would find them, and this sorrow could return to joy as though all was right with the world. For me, I could feel this joy in my own heart, just in coming to this concert. It's the way God speaks to me, personally. And for each person it is different. My heart was grateful I could be standing where I was, listening carefully to the heart of another human being like this. It was truly a blessing I could hardly hold in my own two hands. As Wata's guitar entered the song, and the drums followed, the song poured out over the audience, and we all stood, silent. Boris played on, each moment becoming more and more intense, their hearts on their sleeves, hardly fighting the pain they felt, letting it all wash over us, and remain in a time of loud walls of sound. As silence quickly interrupted our fragile moment, we applauded and shouted.

Atsuo, the drummer, reached out his hand toward us, greeting San Francisco again, and motioned that he just couldn't hear us shouting. Behind him there was placed the legendary gong he usually beats near the final stretch of the set. We shouted and shouted, clapped our hands and reached back out toward the stage, as if we were trying to grab his hand in our own. After some give and take with this shouting game, Atsuo issued in the final stretch of Boris' set with a loud clang on the gong.

We were set quickly on a fast downward spiral again with "Window Shopping" a song full of shouting from the stage, joyful dancing of the band members, and heaviness that burns in your soul. We all shook our heads, shook off our contemplative thoughts and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly with Boris. Wata sang a kind little "doo-do-do-doo" then plunged into a truly unforgettable guitar solo, raising hands and cheers from the crowd. Boris didn't let us off easy with a cute but heavy piece like "Windown Shopping" rather, screeching right into "1970", a jazzy rock song that made everyone in the crowd shake their heads, raise their fists, and dance like it could have possibly been 1970. Takeshi sang out the chorus loudly, and we shouted it back with him, as we were squished against each other in the pit of the livehouse. I think I saw a fight break out behind me, people were really getting into the music, in their own way I do suppose. The song broke down into a ritard, drawing applause and cheers from all around.

Headbanging
Photo taken by Tomo Saito

Boris had truly saved best for last in their final heavy set, breaking out with "Pink", one of their most popular songs from a few years ago. Everyone freaked out,  shaking their heads and dancing, holding up their hands for Takeshi as he belted out the first few notes of the verses and shouting with the drummer as he pointed at us with his drum sticks, motioning like he couldn't hear us cheering him on. We sent out our hearts to him, and all together the band and the audience jumped down into the heaviness of "Pink" shaking our heads furiously, enjoying ourselves, having a wonderful time. Wata met us with a sweet guitar solo, and the crowd cheered and chanted for Boris, dancing until the end of the song. We put our hands together and clapped outrageously, but we knew the end was certainly drawing near.

And it did as Wata stood back for a moment, listening to our cheers, then played the regretful opening of "Aileron". We stood again and watched in silence as the song opened up slow and steady, tapping our feet. Then, suddenly, a burst of heaviness, slow and excruciating, jumped out from the stage. We cheered and cried, as Takeshi's voice resonated throughout the hallway. It was like we were crying out a sad farewell to each other. As the song ended, Wata turned to her keyboard and played a sweet song to us. A wall of sound built from the clanging of the gong behind Atsuo, and the resonance of the guitars, then quickly and painlessly - silence.

They bowed and left the stage, left us wanting. And to feel wanting is usually how one feels afterward.

忙しくて、楽しくて、祈りを出す。part two

Friday.

I hadn't had any plans until the middle of the week for this night. But around Wednesday I'd been invited by a friend of mine in City Cru to go and do volunteer work with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in a part of San Francisco called the Tenderloin District. A group of college students headed out to what is known as one of the most dangerous districts in San Francisco. We met in an old building with flickering lights and high cielings, walls covered in memories via photographs and letters, old posters and make shift artworks.

The Tenderloin district is not only a place where there is a high concentration of people without a home, there is an even higher population of young children in this 6 block radius. YWAM serves the homeless community in San Francisco specifically in the Tenderloin by offering a place for them to rest and feel safe. And on Friday night, we headed out with YWAM staff to serve hot chocolate to people on the streets, have converstaion with them, and pray with them as well.

I had my reservations about this once I realized the depth and closeness I would be experiencing with people I usually tend to avoid in this city. I was nervous and excited to see what God would do. My fear was placed mostly in that I was in a group, but being an African American, I was afraid I would attract perhaps more unwanted attention from men on the streets. It's almost always been my experience that if there is an African American male on the street, he'll talk to me or hoot at me,  and not my white friend. So, in all honesty, I was certainly afraid at first.

But my experience was unlike anything I'd imagined at all. While I'm not necessarily condoning one walking alone in the Tenderloin talking to people on the streets, I will say that the people I met on Friday night were just like me, just like my brother, just like my father, just like my mother, and my sister. It's strange when, and this happens to me often, I look into the desperate face of someone who shares my heritage, and I can see the faces of my family. It broke my heart so much.

There was a particular man named Leonard, who answered when I asked how his day was going that it was going just excellent. He let me sit by him for a minute so I could ask him if there was something I could pray with him about. All he said was, "Peace." Here was a man in a completely different situation from my own, with my father's eyes, and with a prayer request that I so often pray for myself. In a matter of seconds, I could relate to him, only a minor scale, for I'm sure his worries are far beyond my own, but still, we could relate. To pray for him felt natural and it was humbling to be thanked for hot chocolate and a prayer. I wish I could give the thanks he gave me back to him and say, "Please keep it" if that makes any sense.

On the streets of the Tenderloin you hear stories that hurt, stories that inspire you, stories that make you want to be a better person. You don't meet homeless, you meet people. You meet people with goals and aspirations in life just like yours. You meet people with setbacks, and with struggles, just like your own. You meet people with hearts that God sees as good and beautiful, hearts that I have no doubt He is still pursuing.

When I got home Friday night, I had no words. This was a much needed experience. But something about short-term missions really doesn't sit well with me. Chances are high that I will never see the people I've met ever again. Or worse, I will ignore them on the street next week, walking alone and concious of my safety. To think this way hurts more than anything I've felt in a while. It creates grief in my heart, truly. I wonder why I do short term missions like these, if I know I won't be able to commit to  these people, with the faces of my father and brother. I wonder, and wonder.

忙しくて、楽しくて、祈りを出す part one

Since Thursday night, I have had plans every night this weekend. All good if not great plans, but plans nonetheless. This weekend, I realized I was going to get out into the city, spend more on public transportation than ever in a matter of 4 days, and I could not have been more excited.

Thursday afternoon I was free until the evening when events would begin. I decided I'd get some errands run, and get a head start on a paper that is due next month in my Dance 400 class. We've got to watch a ballet and write about how the technique we are studying in Dance 400 applies to the professional full length ballet performance we've watched. I decided to pursue a full length ballet I have not ever seen before in my life (though I've only see few as it is): Jewels by G. Balanchine. In order to get ahold of a DVD, I spent my Thursday afternoon traveling out on a crowded bus to the Richmond Branch of the San Francisco Public Library. I'm finding that in this city I can travel even the tiniest bit, and suddenly, San Francisco bursts with magic and nostalgia of a life I've never lived.

The Richmond Branch of the SF Public Library 

Here on this global like structure, there is a map carved in of San Francisco, even the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge is carved beautifully into this structure. 

Getting to the Libarary and getting a library card was certainly a breeze, as was finding Balanchine. From there I decided I'd go to a coffee shop that had been briefly mentioned to me last semester. With my backpack on my shoulders, I stomped out on the street to get a cozy place on Irving called Hollow.

Hollow isn't necessarily a hole in the wall, but it is surrounded by vacated looking abodes and an old full service station that seems to have been out of business since the 1920s. The warmth of the green walls and chalkboard sitting outside a door with a re-finished handle, completely whisks you away into the deep hallway with a low roof and natural light with flecks of an antique oil lamp pair.

Inside there is a wide array of gifts of sweet little spoons, soaps, tea infusers, candles, perfumes (Tokyo Milk Brand by the way!), and also a wide array of tempting desserts. The inside of Hollow reminds me of a garden, but an indoor garden, kindly adorned with antiques and gifts, a menu of coffee and empanadas, belgian waffles, cupcakes, cakes, cookies, and more. The ambiance is certainly brough to fruition by the sweet sounds of romantic folk music that lingers, and occassional whistle along with the music from the kind and witty barista with a hipster mustache and high-water jeans.


I ordered a delectably strong double mocha, a vanilla bean marshmallow and a a cookie with dulce de leche covered in chocolate to take home. As I set my self down, perched on a wooden stool, I gazed out into Irving street, where there was a sheet of rain falling from the sky, yet the sky was perfectly blue, and the sun no where in sight. Quite strange, but at the same time, gorgeous and well suited for the time and place in which I found myself. The cup was far too small, and as the sun peeked out and the rain subsided, knowing the poor weather for walking would return soon, I regretfully went on my way.

(I did end up returning to Hollow not too much later, on a Saturday afternoon with my good friend Cara. It was a trial just getting there, but once we did, being able to share the indescribably atmosphere with her was worth it. We chatted for a bit, enjoyed a hot cocoa and a spinach and feta empanada, fought with a yellow jacket, and enjoyed each others company as friends simply do.)

These are our silly faces. 

The real fun and games started on that night, which is Thursday, the night I head out to the Sunset for Bible Study with my sophomore friends. Instead of having a study, we had a pot luck and girl's night in. We enjoyed a beautiful menu of a vegetarian cassoulette, macaroni and cheese (which I'm still picking at my leftovers, trying to make the goodness last), avocado crostinis, a salad tossed in mango chutney, you get where I'm going with this- the works. We chatted and listened to Billie Holiday for hours, played a terrible game of charades, and before I knew it was time to head home again.

I really enjoy being in a Bible study with these girls. They are so sweet and loving, and just all around great people. I'm hoping that I can get to know each girl better this year, as I've only been in the city for about a total of five months, and have a year or so to catch up with everyone haha. But even so, I am blessed to have fellowship with these priceless people. Here in San Francisco, it can be very hard to live when you're living alone. Even though Billie does say, "it's easy to live when you're in love" and she's got quite the point, fellowship and community are a necessary part of life in San Francisco. I'm blessed with the community that I have, and I wouldn't trade it for any other in the world.

And the next day was Friday, which I will be writing about soon.

秋の休み and もものパン and Loopriders

This weekend has so far been utterly perfect. On Friday afternoon, having completed all of my homework the night before, I piled into a car with many friends from City Cru and we drove out the East Bay, a place I've never been, but I'd love to see again soon. We were headed towards Fall Retreat, a retreat that takes place each fall semester to get away from the city and contemplate. I was very excited to go with all the girls in my freshman small group, since it would be the first time at Fall Retreat for all of us, and we could get to know each other much better.

We arrived in the four pm sunset on a little street called Eureka, and were faced with a big house comfortably perched in the wake of a thousand year old Redwood tree. The inside of the house we'd been staying in was classic and covered with art student's work, and even many professional works of arts, from portraits of cozy bunny rabbits to a very creepy woman whose eyes followed you wherever you went. The house's theme of colors were warm reds and soft cream, one of my personal favorites, and I felt right at home walking into the eclectic household.

Across from our house was a tree covered in painted old vinyl. The BART ran right behind it every half hour or so, creating a magical sound that echoed through the park, like a scene out of Spirited Away. 

The retreat opened with a barbecue dinner, meeting with friends, singing, and hearing from a guest speaker named Nate, who runs a nonprofit in East Oakland sharing love and kindness with youth in the city. I will be honest, I was missing my friend who hadn't been able to make it. The whole night I was trying to seek a kind of centering point to be able to see what all of tonight meant for me as a single person, but it was hard to do. Thankfully the next day, I had a lot of time to myself. We spent an hour sitting outside reflecting on our lives and asking our selves questions that for some, the answers came easy, and for others, I still have to think about them.

The retreat came to an end in the five pm sunset of Saturday, and while I was sad to be leaving, I was so excited to get back to San Francisco. I had no actions or intentions in mind of what I would do when I got back, and not having anything set before me, for the first time, felt alright. I suppose I shall elaborate - I always plan what I'm going to do, how I'm going to take a practical step to implement what I've learned or how I'd like to grow, but this retreat for me was different from all the others I've ever been to in my life. I didn't really know how to start or where to go once I'd learned all that I did, and in that way it was implementing what I've learned: trusting in my Creator. I have no plans, but that's alright. Truly, more than alright.

Fall is starting to get into full swing around here, and the leaves are changing colors and falling onto the ground. Rain is expected this coming week, and there's a fresh breeze blowing in the air. Peaches are delicious, and also make for wonderful peach pancakes, which I've been enjoying thoroughly this weekend in my apartment. Fall is also a season in which I do things out of the ordinary, such as see a band I've never heard of before in a live house downtown.  I'm looking forward to seeing a group called BORIS this coming weekend. October is sweet, and near the end of the month, should only get sweeter with candy and pumpkin cheesecake. I love fall.