So to you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:13-14
DEPARTURE TO JAPAN IN 8 DAYS
Today was a very high stress day. There was a lot of confusion and hardly any peace. But amidst all of it, things could not possibly be better. I was reminded today that sometimes things work out the way we do not intend to, and if that is the case, it means that something greater is surely in the works. Today I received my last couple of checks of support, and my goal has been reached as far as financially raising money to go to Japan in a little over a week. To everyone who has supported me, a heartfelt thank you and bless you. It hasn't been easy on any of you, and some I see more than others, but your contribution is much greater than me. It's all in God's hands and He will make beauty from your gifts of love in Japan. I believe this with all my heart.
It was hard to receive the last check I got because it was from my parents. I was grateful for their generosity, but hesitant because they already support me with so much. I had actually planned to try and raise enough money so they would not have to pay for anything for this project. But they believed that God had placed in their hearts, so I couldn't tell them to just ignore God. Nevertheless, it was a tough pill to swallow, but I'm very grateful to everyone for their sacrifice. It's been a busy summer for many people, and I was just explaining this on the phone to one of my project directors, as my funds were looking low these past couple of weeks and he expressed concern. There have been many graduations, babies, weddings, birthdays, holidays and special occasions in many peoples lives this summer, and with the short notice, to receive gifts from anyone has been a shock and a blessing, and I'm sure, a sacrifice on their part. A very humble thank you to everyone.
I've got a bag and a small suitcase! I keep taking the clothes I've folded and packed already out of the suitcase and wearing them though. It's no good - they're my favorite clothes, well, I should say they are the clothes I wear often. I get the feeling that I'll be needing new clothes when I return from Japan. Which is well...great, I suppose. It was really fun getting to shop for things that I have to take with me, but truly I've been trying to give a lot of thought to omiyage to give to the people I meet in Japan. It's been a little frustrating. I've consulted Google, and just haven't found anything that truly expresses me saying, "It's so nice to meet, and Jesus loves you" in gift form haha. I guess, in a way, my excitement to go to Japan again in four years is trying to be summed up in a gift. This is no doubt, a bad attempt to make. I am hoping that maybe I'll be able to find some locally made cookies here in SB or in Carpinteria to take with me to give to the people in Japan. Lots of people have suggested to give sweet things like chocolates or candies or cookies or ... yeah gift things. There are so many options, you know? Perhaps to think more quickly about it will be helpful though.
These days I find that I am thinking more and more about what to do once school starts again. I may already have a job lined up for the fall actually too, but for the sake of publicity, I'm going to keep a secret what job I may be getting. It will be new and exciting and not Teavana (oops did I say that? :/ ). My mind is moving so quickly head, I think that maybe this is the reason it doesn't feel like I'm going to Japan. I feel everyday there are so many things that I have to do to prepare for the trip, but when I set down to do something, I see there is maybe only one small thing, or nothing at all. I find myself repeating things, things worth repeating that is. I try to think about what I'll see when I get there, and how I will feel seeing it all. I have started listening to Japanese while I sleep and watching movies and TV shows without the subtitles. It's very hard sometimes, but I like to try my best.
Of course, I want to keep praying about this project as much as I can. I know that anything can happen on this trip, I just want people to meet Jesus when I'm there. Sometimes, especially when the crisis in Japan first happened, I was sad that people suddenly decided it was time to pray for Japan when the country was in need. Japan for many years has been turned away from Jesus, but because they have money and innovation, fashion and excellence, many Christians make the assumption that Japan is okay. I will concede that Japan can be a scary topic, because sharing the Gospel includes communication, and lots of it if you want to do it right. Language and cultural barriers are difficult to see past, as human beings. Maybe this is what intimidates me about other countries where I do not know the language. It is the same. So I don't say these things to criticize others for suddenly praying for Japan. I'm not a hipster who says, "Oh I was praying for Japan before it was mainstream".
I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that I hope that those who are being helped in Japan by the many volunteers coming through feel the true love of Jesus regardless of their situation. I hope they can understand we would want to share Jesus with them with just as much passion, even if the tsunami never took their homes away. But only God knows who will open their hearts and who will not. I have asked myself these kinds of questions, what if our endeavors in Japan are met with hostility? What if people don't want to hear about Jesus? How would I handle the situation? These are things I have considered. The mistake I made going to Japan the first time, was not asking myself practical questions and thinking about the feelings of others. Not in a way where I would be intimidated and not share the love of Jesus, but where it was like I was walking with tunnel vision, unable to see beyond my own motives. Like talking to a wall. I decide I don't want to make that same mistake twice. I am excited to go and serve, to listen and to learn, and to speak, if necessary.
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