Dear Santa Barbara,
You know, maybe we got off on the wrong foot 9 years ago. Just maybe, just maybe I had you figured out a little wrong there. So, how about we give this another go?
It's warm and there's pollen in the air, there are rabbits in the yard, roses in the garden, lemons, apples, locquats, oranges, plums, peaches, avocados, just falling from the sky. There are blue skies and warm winds here in Santa Barbara. It's beautiful. More beautiful than I remember. This, in itself, is a miracle. Something in me just clicked, when I realized I'd get to see my family again after a few months away, and the world here that is Santa Barbara, small as it is, is not suffocating me. I'm shocked. It must be grace.
I am fully preparing for a busy summer right now between raising money for the missions trip to Japan and finding a job. I've got an interview next Tuesday to work in a parking structure downtown. The job is flexible and I don't think they'll mind me skipping out for three weeks of my summer to remove debris and share love and hope with the people of Japan... at least that's what I think.
When I'm not doing what I should, I'm missing Curtis.
Before I left San Francisco, one of my mentors gave me the cutest handmade card I'd ever seen and in it wrote many things, including a list of books I should read over the summer. If I get this parking job, I can read all those books!! I've since started reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, which is very good. It's a book on walking in the Spirit, perfect before I leave for Japan.
What I love about this book is that almost the first thing Francis Chan writes is something that has become so key to my walk of faith and I'm glad that someone else is encouraging and instructing others to do this -- Read the Bible for yourself. Don't take any one's word for truth, find truth. Seek God on your own, with your two hands, with your own eyes, search for God and have your own personal faith. Yes there are many people of wisdom in this world who will guide us in the right ways, but when we internalize the truth of the Bible for ourselves, it's different.
I only recently began reading the Bible for myself, going back to verses and chapters I avoided simply because I was so hardened to them and looked for God. I can say that I have been walking as a Christian basically all of my life, but seeking God out for myself makes me feel as though before I knew nothing, as though I weren't a Christian at all, like I was kidding myself. It's almost hilarious.
This summer, I don't know what's going to happen. A lot could happen, a lot will, and a lot won't. Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to it. This past semester at San Francisco State has especially shown me what is important in life, and has caused me to think deeply about myself, in ways, much like showing that I needed to search for God on my own. I have been drawn to go over and over again in my head my life story and find God, I have been urged to see how He has changed me, and how I am different for the better. But amongst the grace and mercy He gives, and the Love I have experienced, I am also pushed to see where I have not changed. And never have I looked on my faults with joy before this. I have joy because it means that God has not given up on me.
You know, maybe we got off on the wrong foot 9 years ago. Just maybe, just maybe I had you figured out a little wrong there. So, how about we give this another go?
It's warm and there's pollen in the air, there are rabbits in the yard, roses in the garden, lemons, apples, locquats, oranges, plums, peaches, avocados, just falling from the sky. There are blue skies and warm winds here in Santa Barbara. It's beautiful. More beautiful than I remember. This, in itself, is a miracle. Something in me just clicked, when I realized I'd get to see my family again after a few months away, and the world here that is Santa Barbara, small as it is, is not suffocating me. I'm shocked. It must be grace.
I am fully preparing for a busy summer right now between raising money for the missions trip to Japan and finding a job. I've got an interview next Tuesday to work in a parking structure downtown. The job is flexible and I don't think they'll mind me skipping out for three weeks of my summer to remove debris and share love and hope with the people of Japan... at least that's what I think.
When I'm not doing what I should, I'm missing Curtis.
Before I left San Francisco, one of my mentors gave me the cutest handmade card I'd ever seen and in it wrote many things, including a list of books I should read over the summer. If I get this parking job, I can read all those books!! I've since started reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, which is very good. It's a book on walking in the Spirit, perfect before I leave for Japan.
What I love about this book is that almost the first thing Francis Chan writes is something that has become so key to my walk of faith and I'm glad that someone else is encouraging and instructing others to do this -- Read the Bible for yourself. Don't take any one's word for truth, find truth. Seek God on your own, with your two hands, with your own eyes, search for God and have your own personal faith. Yes there are many people of wisdom in this world who will guide us in the right ways, but when we internalize the truth of the Bible for ourselves, it's different.
I only recently began reading the Bible for myself, going back to verses and chapters I avoided simply because I was so hardened to them and looked for God. I can say that I have been walking as a Christian basically all of my life, but seeking God out for myself makes me feel as though before I knew nothing, as though I weren't a Christian at all, like I was kidding myself. It's almost hilarious.
This summer, I don't know what's going to happen. A lot could happen, a lot will, and a lot won't. Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to it. This past semester at San Francisco State has especially shown me what is important in life, and has caused me to think deeply about myself, in ways, much like showing that I needed to search for God on my own. I have been drawn to go over and over again in my head my life story and find God, I have been urged to see how He has changed me, and how I am different for the better. But amongst the grace and mercy He gives, and the Love I have experienced, I am also pushed to see where I have not changed. And never have I looked on my faults with joy before this. I have joy because it means that God has not given up on me.
i've been doing that kind of seeking myself lately, and i know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteisn't it amazing that He never gives up on us?!