The older I get the more I start to realize that there truly is only one unrealistic thing I hope for on an almost constant basis. I want to play in a rock band. Ever since I've seen bands live, or taken a pure interest in music for that matter, it's been the epitome of what I could call freedom.
I just think about it this way - to lock yourself in a room with three or four people and create something you all love out of rhythm and some kind movements of the air, to put it plainly, is just seductive. It's something that, just the thought of it, I could get lost in.Turning around and playing back your brainchild, I know from experience, is like coming face to face with ugliness and beauty existing together, a rare occurrence. Conveying the things that you feel or want to feel, through sound and words, whether in a general way or in the smallest of details, compressing emotions into 3 minutes and 30 seconds, is a feeling inexplicable.
I have composed alone, and in a group once, and ever since then it's something I feel like I can't wait until I am able to do it again. But as time continues, I get busy with other things that don't captivate my soul in the same way. Why is it that, humanity, we turn away from the one we love the most? Because the less lovely things are just more important some how? I will never understand it, though I turn away so much, and do what I don't understand.
After awhile, do people just stop going after the things that they want in life? It's something I've always wondered, or do people really change their minds? To think for myself, if I haven't let it go, am I just being immature or is this unrealistic dream something to continue being hopeful for?
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