As the week has gone by, life has already started changing. The rail is becoming a ladder and time is passing. I've finished my last day at work, after two years with the company. It's sad to be leaving, but I'll have to get focused soon in order to take the on the task of becoming a student. Returning to school after having the responsibility of a job, feels strange to me. It makes me wonder if I'll become any less mature or be surrounded by people who I cannot connect with. I won't worry about it, I'll be alright.
I've found myself over indulging in classic music lately, yes all because I sat down to watch this wonderful, funny Japanese drama called Noda-me no Cantabile. I usually watch Japanese series to work on my comprehension, but this particular story really hit close to home for me. I can relate well to the character Noda Megumi who has this amazing talent at piano, but it's not perfect, so she doesn't want to use it for performance at all. Somehow she's ended up at a music school but she is studying to be a teacher instead. Much like her, I feel I've put my musical abilities on the shelf, and much like her, I'm starting to feel like I've let waste of a good thing.
My piano, guitar, and bass guitar have collected dust over this past year. I took the time to carefully clean each. To place my hands on the piano keys again and just see what happens, forgetting what I knew, it's been so long there wasn't much to remember, I was left sleepless as long as the piano was in sight last night. Even this morning, hearing church music gave me a similar feeling, like my heart was swimming in the cool waters after a long drought. I, to this moment, do not understand it. What joy is there in music that I'd so quickly forgotten?
I've known since high school that I have no technique that would cause someone to want to assist me in furthering my knowledge of music, I'd have to start from the bottom and work my way up from elementary to intermediate. Finding the opportunity to do so hasn't been the easiest, however, I seem to have come back in touch with the person I was before I turned 17.
She was a person who was so passionately enamored by the piano, guitar, bass guitar, drums, rock music, and to this day still the Japanese language. She would devote her free time to relentless practice and listening, learning in a way much different from the typical virtuoso. She had no technique, just drive. And somehow, though often it left her wanting, there would be a rare instance in which she would surprise herself. She'd dream a composition, wake up and play it as though she'd written it awake. She was, to me, perfect in every way, because there was something she loved in her life.
Having reunited with this person, I want to be her again, well not entirely. She was lacking certain experience, but I don't want to discard her the way I did two years ago. I think we've met again for a reason. I think we've met again to make music.
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