インスタント

These past few days have grown longer and longer. I'm adjusting to the ways of being a student again, it almost feels like I've fallen backwards in time about two years. Homework has become a new favorite thing, as well as the little black cappuccino machine in the cafeteria. The food is starting not to taste that bad, and hunger is coming more easily every few hours. 

I have officially attended all of my classes as of last night. I went to a three hour communications course. The one course I was kind of dreading. As expected, I walked into the room, sat down in a seat and no one looked at each other, there were a few people talking to each other, but like every other class I've been to, it was just silence. The teacher was late, and when she walked in, the first thing I noticed about her was that she had gorgeous tattoos all over. I guess you could say, in a high-schooler term, she won my respect then. As I had kind of expected, we did all get up in a circle, hold hands, and play the name game. I thought to myself maybe this class will be a lot easier than I think, but it couldn't possibly so, it's college after all. But three hours passed quickly, and now I know everyone in my class. Why can't all college classes be like that? 

In Japanese the other day, I made friends with a girl named Tiffany, she poked me with a few questions throughout class, and when she introduced herself I was rather grateful. Intensive Study of Kanji is split up into three groups by three level based on difficulty. I chose to start off in level one, because while my Japanese is great, my knowledge of Kanji needs work. Of course, I should've known this would put me in a small group (as it's spring semester), and a small group of first year Japanese students no less. So there I was in a group of about five, with three very loud, kind of nasally, Japanese-spewing children, Tiffany, and myself. It should be an interesting class, as should study groups. 

Now, let's get this straight, I have no opposition in learning alongside an otaku-type student. But being a serious student myself, that's all I require of them. It's easy to look and judge quickly and say they probably won't be Japanese majors long, but I could be wrong. In fact, I'm willing to bet on being wrong. 

The girls that I'm rooming with have mentioned some of the activities they do over the weekend. Seeing as I haven't made that many friends, or really and lasting friends in classes, I'll probably be hanging out with them. This weekend should prove interesting, because while a few activities have been thrown in the air, we have yet to grab one and say, "We're doing this." 

SF State is having a dance, which I've heard from my sophomore friends is rather "junior". Hearing this wasn't exactly the best, because I know that if I decide I want to go, at this point, I'll be going alone... oh and it's tonight. Oops. 

I guess, the glamour of finally getting my education isn't wearing, but studying can't possibly everything. I wish I could just say that it is, that's what I want to do, and not worry about social living or sleep or any of the petty things that are included in the college experience. As a human being, I wonder, why do we always have to ask for more? We're selfish and terrible creatures. I don't want to ask for more, but my soul says it wants friendship, it wants satisfaction of the familiar. The familiar food, the familiar faces, definitely not he familiar place (Oh San Francisco, how good you've been), familiar feelings and affections. 

Yes, Curtis, I miss him more than I thought I would,  being removed from our stomping grounds and all. 

Though I feel this, I don't want to admit I do. I'd rather sit here, and battle within myself to remain and be optimistic. 

I'll set out in this ocean in the fog, where I can't see a thing, a little while longer, my soul's desires will have to wait. And they will wait, as long as I say.